I promised myself that I would write today so here I am, sitting in Nando’s on my lunch break writing. (Disclaimer: the intern life doesn’t normally support lunch at Nando’s but the hunger was real today and the cravings, even more so.)
I had planned for this post to focus on the re-styling of what was in fact my 21st birthday dress paired with my very well loved, definitely well-worn and definitely ready for the bin, adidas gazelles – all in the name of day to night dressing. While parts of that post may make it through to the final cut, it’s not looking likely and while I want you to keep reading, I don’t want to waste anyone’s precious time. If you came here for the fashion tips and shopping picks, scroll straight to the bottom. If you came here for a dose of my rambling thoughts, well I hope you’re sitting comfortably, there’s a few of them.
It’s incredibly frustrating when your hobby/passion/general path of thinking exists within a creative field. (It’s also incredibly rewarding but sorry to disappoint, this just isn’t one of those blog posts.) You have no idea where your inspiration and random thoughts might take you. You also have no idea when they might end. One minute you’re walking home from work, podcast on, your head brimming with ideas and plans, convincing yourself that yes, of course you have the time and the drive to up your blog content to two posts a day while working full time at a magazine internship because you love your blog, this is your passion, you would do anything for your blog and one day you hope this might be your future. Think again, girly. That’s not you. At least not today because tomorrow, the next day, the day after that and possibly the next few months, you’ll be busy hopping on and off the rollercoaster of motivation and writer’s block.
A bit like with a romantic relationship, the fun is the first to go. The ideas stop. You run out of things to say to one another. Next, the effort. You start getting used to them not being around so much, less of your daily routine and if you’re not careful, the motivation will disappear entirely. Right now, I think I’m somewhere in between the last two stages. I’m not in a position where I’m ready or willing to give up my blog and I don’t think I ever will be but I’m also aware that I’ve lost sight of why I started writing on this website in the first place. I’m aware that it will take work to get it back on track and I’m aware that my effort, while it is improving, is still lacking. I love writing and I love my blog (though I may physically cringe at the word) so I’m willing to work on it and give it the love and attention it deserves until I get back to the routine of creating content as regularly as possible.
This post wasn’t intended to be a negative one. Nor was it intended to dishearten anyone who is on a high with their blog or creative passion at the moment. It was my attempt at getting back into writing by sitting down and letting my thoughts do all of the talking. When I’m being my most honest, that’s when I feel my posts hold the most value to me. Not that this blog is all about me…well kind of…but how can I expect my writing to be in any way valuable to other people if I don’t value it myself? I feel as though I got trapped in producing a certain kind of content that just wasn’t me, wasn’t bringing me enjoyment to write and started to feel more like a chore than anything else. Honesty is the best policy and I don’t want to sit here and pretend that blogging is always this fantastic hobby that takes just posting a few pictures online. Any other blogger who reads this will know it’s not the case and it’s exactly why we get frustrated when we see people slating blogging. It takes hard work, it takes commitment and mostly, it takes patience.
While I really hope that this post is me getting back into the swing of things, the reality is that that may not be the case but one step at a time, at least I finished and published this post and that’s something.
SHOP THE LOOK
Photos by Lucy
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