Today for the first time in a while I sat down to write my blog post and had nothing to say. There was nothing there. I had the outfit shots in front of me. I had Pinterest open with different article inspiration right there. I had candles lit. Tea in hand. The usual set up. And yet still, nothing.
I should have known from the constant procrastination throughout the day that creativity just wasn’t going to happen today.
Firstly, I haven’t slept.
Secondly, I’ve spent most of today and yesterday in bed sick.
Thirdly, my anxiety is sky high, worsened only by the fact that I have no idea why.
The most frustrating thing about the situation for me was the fact that, other than feeling physically sick for separate reasons, mentally I actually had no idea what was wrong. The only thing I did know was that I wasn’t ok.
I let myself cry. I painted my nails. I tried to nap. I turned my phone off. I followed all of the usual cures and mood enhancers, ones that I’ve have recommended to others here on this blog. Nothing helped. The girl who spends almost every waking hour of every day dreaming about what this blog could become, plans that I have for it and article ideas popping up every so often seemed to have packed up her bags and headed off to a faraway land. Something I felt like joining her on.
This all might seem very dramatic to a lot of you because it’s only one day and I really hope that’s what it is. But to me it feels more than that because when it comes to anxiety, for the most part you have no idea firstly, when it will rear its ugly head and potentially more stressful, how long it will stick around for.
I love writing and creating content on my blog. It’s probably very sad to a lot of you but I spend a lot of my time thinking about ‘blogging’ and the different pieces I could write, the different platforms I hope to expand to and how I can better my little corner of the internet. So this little period of writer’s block, though hopefully very brief, has been alarming to say the least.
In the midst of all of this and in an attempt to tidy up and revive my brain, I turned to my back up plan for those days when writing won’t save me and got reading. Hannah Gale’s blog was my therapy of choice. Turns out this did the trick pretty well and got a few cogs moving. Not all but a few.
I got to my laptop, did some rambling (see above) and came to the conclusion that this post was going to be about the resources to turn to when all inspiration/motivation/generally feeling lost and overwhelmed gets the better of you. They’re not all necessarily motivational speeches as such but instead relatable articles that remind you that you’re not alone and others have experienced similar things. Sometimes it’s about finding something that you can relate to rather than searching for the ‘cure’ or solution to whatever it is you’re going through. Other times it’s about distracting yourself as much as possible and reading think pieces that have nothing to do with mental health. And if none of these work? Turn on the news. That’ll put everything into perspective quicker than anything else.
The very post that helped me put pen to paper this evening (or finger tips to keyboard):
Knowing your own mental illness warning signs
PS. This post was supposed to be about my current love of beanies. That love is still ongoing and I almost dread the day that it’s too warm to wear them for another few months. However, much as I love them there’s really only so much you can say about a beanie…
Photos by Alex of This Beautiful Moment Photography